


The White Hole

by cascaded_onion



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Dark, Gen, Interspecies Relationship(s), Kinda, Non-Human Humanoid Society, Short One Shot, Teen Angst, You have to read it to understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:56:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11304291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cascaded_onion/pseuds/cascaded_onion
Summary: Being lonely sucks, we all know that. How does a cosmic entity handle it?- Shitty summary from yours truly, any comments or likes would make me so happy so please (>.>)/Also I almost got sent to the Councillor for writing this so I had to tone it down a bit oops





	The White Hole

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, been a while since I posted anything ahahaha... Hope you guys like this piece and like maybe it could be inspirational

“A white hole is a hypothetical feature of the universe. It is considered the opposite of a black hole. As black holes don't let anything escape from their surface, white holes are eruptions of matter and energy and nothing can get inside them.” – Alfredo Carpineti

 

Comets. Asteroids. Planets. Stars. Even light. Nothing gets close to me, I push it all away. Left alone in the inky blackness of space, shining brightly like a beacon with no one to summon. Sometimes I wonder when I started isolating myself. Was it to protect myself from pulling something close that could hurt me? Because I had already been hurt and couldn’t cope? Is it simply my nature to reject everything, even if it shines as brightly and kindly as a star? I am not sure anymore, my thought process has dulled with time, yet my feelings of loneliness and isolation have heightened.

I am sick of this. Many look at me from afar, judging. They all look, but nothing comes near. There are only ever stares, whispers and passing glances as they continue their cosmic paths. I guess it’s not their fault that I’m an unapproachable entity that rejects all who comes close, but I won’t say that it doesn’t hurt.

It’s not all bad though, there are times when solitude is rather enjoyable. You have time to think, to sort out that swirling mess of emotions. However, while I can claim to enjoy solitude, I can’t stand the loneliness. My emotions are always on the event horizon, threatening to overwhelm me and push me into an even darker space. No matter how hard I try to get rid of them, they remain there, constantly nagging and making me question my relevance. I laugh at the irony- the one thing I truly wish to push away- I cannot. I am sick of it.

Fondly I remember a time when it wasn’t all bad, when I was as close to happiness as something like me could possibly be. The reason for this happiness was the comet with a streaming, sparkling white tail. That tail was my light in the inky darkness of space and the even darker blackness of my mind, and oh, how it glistened. It sparkled like there was one thousand stars trapped inside, colliding, moving, merging. I’ve always liked to think that that tail represented the comets kind and pure spirit I really did like that comet, it was the only entity who ever even tried and didn’t give up on me until the very end. I guess that tenacity came from it’s deep, fiery red body, representing its willpower and indomitable spirit. The comet liked to push my boundaries, seeing how close it could get to me before I’d begin to repel it, then shoot off to a safe (but still close) distance. It was similar to how a being would approach a wild creature- cautious and trying not to scare it away and risk its anger.

This dance continued for a while, longer than I care to remember. Time means nothing to me – life is pointless and goes on and on. I still can’t think of a reason why the comet stuck around, and I’ve had plenty of time to think. Empathy was never one of my strong points. The best reason I’ve found is that we both found comfort in each other’s existence, although I cannot define what I gave to the comet. There is one thing I know for sure though from my experience with the comet - all good things must come to an end.  I’d never had that sensation before, nothing good had ever gotten as close to me as the comet had. That was the issue – it got too close. It was constantly testing the limits, pulling closer and then drawing away. Then one day it got too confident, too close. I couldn’t help it, instinctively I pushed it away harder than I’d ever done before. It’s my nature to do so, and that’s hard to change no matter how much I may sometimes despise it. 

I am still not sure where that comet went, but I know plenty of time has passed since it was sent spiralling into the abyss of space from my recoil. I’ll never forget that look of it in that moment, its tail leaving sparkles glittering sadly in its wake, like tears, body a dulled, mournful blue – like it was sad. I don’t understand why someone would be sad being pushed away and regret the loss of my company. I’m not exactly one of the universes best pit stops. Maybe that comet was lonely like me, but thinking that doesn’t ease the pain of being alone again. Why do I push everything away?

“It’s my nature.” I whisper to myself. “It’s what I do.”

These empty reassurances mean nothing to me anymore. If my nature is what is causing me this pain, then I have no need of it. Changing one’s nature is hard, but I know it is possible. I have seen stars grow and explode, being born anew, planets and asteroids formed from their debris. If they can do it, why can’t I?

Sometimes I think that simply ending my existence would be easier and end the pain quicker, but at my core I wish to see what it will be like once I am changed and things can get close to me. This is one of the reasons why I don’t end it, but also the prospect of not existing scares me. What would happen to my consciousness once my body is gone? Will I just not exist anymore, or will I linger on here as a ghost nebulae? I suppose I am already a ghost, so I don’t have much to lose by trying.

\----

_“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.” – Robin Sharma_

_\----_

The change is slow and gradual, like sand trickling down an hour glass. But I’m doing it. I can feel the shift in energy as I warp and change my body and essence. It took me a while to get to this stage, I spent a long time debating and making excuses. I didn’t think I could do it, but something inside me pushed me to try. Maybe it was the lingering effects of the comet that caused me to challenge my own boundaries. It hurts though, I’m ripping apart, in turmoil and unsure. There are so many forces, opposite pulling together and likes pushing apart. I’m a mess, but I hope the result will be worth it. It must be.  

I don’t notice much of a change at first, but I’m already reacting differently. No longer do objects repel away from me, now they linger at a standstill neither going or coming. My struggle is finally paying off, I just need one more push (or pull) to attract them all to me. No longer will I be alone, for now everything will be drawn towards me, whether they like it or not. If my previous existence pushed everything away, despite how brightly I shone, then I’ll become something different, something darker. Even light won’t escape from me.

It’s complete. Gone is the existence that I once was. I am changed, a swirling mass of matter, even darker than black with an irresistible force.  Everything wants to be near me now, coming in from all corners of the universe. I’ll draw them all close, radiating harmfulness as if I’m not different to any other star or planet. They’ll only find out what I am until it’s too late, once they’re too close. No matter how much anything struggles to get away from me, they cannot resist my pull. Nothing will ever leave me again. I’ll keep them inside me, close to my heart where we can be together forever. Maybe like this I’ll see the comet again and this time things will be different. After all, I’m a black hole now.

 


End file.
